Friday, July 9, 2010
My blogging days are OVERR
I haven't anything to document through my blog, so I guess I'll just spend my days wasting away on facebook and such. Unless.... I find something to blog about.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
DIE SOCIAL NETWORKING!! DIE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Sorry. I'm just mad at the world for being obsessed with facebook and the World Cup and stuff. well now you can comment for real because I reverted my widgets back to normal or something. So comment and say something pretty like "Hi Sylvie you are a great person."
Maybe I'll start the Naylah story again - IN MY NEXT POST. Goodness I can't wait to get out of school. I wish I had a cupcake to eat.
Maybe I'll start the Naylah story again - IN MY NEXT POST. Goodness I can't wait to get out of school. I wish I had a cupcake to eat.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Anorexia nervosa
I understand there has been a rumour spreading saying that I have Anorexia. This is an article on the subject from Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa
This rumour has become a threat to my friendships and my happiness, and I don't believe it's true, but that's for you to judge. My point is that if you are really worried about me, you could tell someone trustworthy like the school nurse or a psychologist. Not your little friends who are just going to tease me about it and make my life miserable. I know most people don't do this, but some people think that eating disorders are excuses to hate people and make their lives living hells.
That is not true. If you're reading this, you know who you are, and please don't do this anymore.
This rumour has become a threat to my friendships and my happiness, and I don't believe it's true, but that's for you to judge. My point is that if you are really worried about me, you could tell someone trustworthy like the school nurse or a psychologist. Not your little friends who are just going to tease me about it and make my life miserable. I know most people don't do this, but some people think that eating disorders are excuses to hate people and make their lives living hells.
That is not true. If you're reading this, you know who you are, and please don't do this anymore.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tennyson's Lady of Shallot
Here is a beautiful wistful poem for everyone!
So beautiful...
On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro' the field the road runs by
To many-tower'd Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.
Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.
By the margin, willow veil'd,
Slide the heavy barges trail'd
By slow horses; and unhail'd
The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?
Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott."
There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.
Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower'd Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.
But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott.
A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.
The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon'd baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.
All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro' the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.
His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
"Tirra lirra," by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.
In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.
And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.
Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.
Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.
For ere she reach'd upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.
Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.
Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."
So beautiful...
On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro' the field the road runs by
To many-tower'd Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.
Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.
By the margin, willow veil'd,
Slide the heavy barges trail'd
By slow horses; and unhail'd
The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?
Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott."
There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.
Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower'd Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.
But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott.
A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.
The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon'd baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.
All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro' the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.
His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
"Tirra lirra," by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.
In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.
And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.
Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.
Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.
For ere she reach'd upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.
Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.
Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."
Monday, May 10, 2010
A new interest in life
Hey guess what so you can add comments now AREN'T YOU EXCITED? :D
I think I'm going to have a farm someday. How great, yes? And I'll wear a romantic dress of lace AND I"LL WEAR A BONNET, MAN! Don't you just hate the way I have nothing to say? I'm just pounding on the keyboard of my computer listlessly, procrastinating on all that crap I have to do for school!! Why, just why?
I think I'm going to have a farm someday. How great, yes? And I'll wear a romantic dress of lace AND I"LL WEAR A BONNET, MAN! Don't you just hate the way I have nothing to say? I'm just pounding on the keyboard of my computer listlessly, procrastinating on all that crap I have to do for school!! Why, just why?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Goddess Bunny
Okay I have to take a break from this whole "Naylah cromagnon girl" thing to show you this amazing (or disturbing, depending on your taste) video. It's someone with polio crossdressing and tap-dancing!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?????! :P
Thursday, April 15, 2010
April 2, 30,000 BC
Geoffrey and I were sitting on the ledge of our
cave. I had been given a strange thing made from a CAVE BEAR FEMUR!!!!
"You play shaman flute," said Ungi, handing the thing to me.
"Uhhh...." I said, "What do I do with it?"
"You no know?" Said Ungi. She seemed very kind and motherly about it. "You no know? But I thought you shaman! YOU NO SHAMAN!! LEAVE! AND TAKE CAVE BEAR WITH YOU!!"
So the neanderthals had cast me out. This is fantastic. However, I didn't wait a s
econd complaining and weeping, like I usually do - I grabbed my hide parfleche and started out for new beginnings - or new ends - or - whatever.
On my quest back home, I took a slightly different route. This route was a little more scenic, but it took longer and I had a greater probability of losing my life. Ah, well.
However, luckily Geoffrey and my most interesting experience by far our accidental stop at an encampment near a great floodplain by the Great River,.
"Hello there, lady," Said some fellow, emerging from a hide tent. He was obviously hitting on me.
"Hello lady," He said again. This time he caught my attention. A Burial Ceremony was taking place(pictured right) At their encamapment - this seemed like a pretty bad time for someone to be flirting with me. But still, he touched my heart. I smiled at him.
"So... how's it... AAAAAH! sHE HAS A BEAR! eVErY mAn FoR hiMsELf!!!"
All of the tribe turned and stared at me for a moment, then fled into their tents like bats out of hell.
This was the reaction I expected. I was about to move along, when...
"Hello there, my lady," said the same guy, approaching me with caution. "You must be a shaman! Well, my sincerest apologies for treating you with such disrespect. You had better lodge with me... in my hut..."
"I, uh..." Just as I tried to think of an excuse to leave, he took me by the hand and led me to his hut.
"My name is Sharmano. You should meet our shaman, girl. You'd just love him. And follow us north for the mammoth hunt. What a lovely shaman lady you are."
And thus,
I have gotten myself into another trap.
Geoffrey and I were sitting on the ledge of our
cave. I had been given a strange thing made from a CAVE BEAR FEMUR!!!!
"You play shaman flute," said Ungi, handing the thing to me.
"Uhhh...." I said, "What do I do with it?"
"You no know?" Said Ungi. She seemed very kind and motherly about it. "You no know? But I thought you shaman! YOU NO SHAMAN!! LEAVE! AND TAKE CAVE BEAR WITH YOU!!"
So the neanderthals had cast me out. This is fantastic. However, I didn't wait a s
econd complaining and weeping, like I usually do - I grabbed my hide parfleche and started out for new beginnings - or new ends - or - whatever.On my quest back home, I took a slightly different route. This route was a little more scenic, but it took longer and I had a greater probability of losing my life. Ah, well.
However, luckily Geoffrey and my most interesting experience by far our accidental stop at an encampment near a great floodplain by the Great River,.
"Hello there, lady," Said some fellow, emerging from a hide tent. He was obviously hitting on me.
"Hello lady," He said again. This time he caught my attention. A Burial Ceremony was taking place(pictured right) At their encamapment - this seemed like a pretty bad time for someone to be flirting with me. But still, he touched my heart. I smiled at him.
"So... how's it... AAAAAH! sHE HAS A BEAR! eVErY mAn FoR hiMsELf!!!"
All of the tribe turned and stared at me for a moment, then fled into their tents like bats out of hell.
This was the reaction I expected. I was about to move along, when...
"Hello there, my lady," said the same guy, approaching me with caution. "You must be a shaman! Well, my sincerest apologies for treating you with such disrespect. You had better lodge with me... in my hut..."
"I, uh..." Just as I tried to think of an excuse to leave, he took me by the hand and led me to his hut.
"My name is Sharmano. You should meet our shaman, girl. You'd just love him. And follow us north for the mammoth hunt. What a lovely shaman lady you are."
And thus,
I have gotten myself into another trap.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
WAAAAH! i WANT A MATE!!!
March somethingith 30,000 BC
Life with the neanderthals is okay... Being a shaman really has some downsides - especially when you're being one for another species! But other than that... Something feels empty, like it's missing...
I miss my mate.
There. I said it. I miss that pompous idiot who thinks he can make a decent awl out of antler. What a fool I must be!!! I even miss Hilga... I miss my mother, my father and my stupid siblings. I miss my clan. I miss my cave. I miss the lean-tos. I miss the caches full of meat. I miss the pictures of horses on the wall. I miss the pictures of ibex on the wall. I miss the pictures of aurochs on the wall. I miss the pictures of -- well, I think you get the point.
Geoffrey tried to eat some neanderthal baby today while his mother chewed on a hide. She didn't care, because I'm the shaman and he's my shaman bear, but I saved the whining little thing. I never really liked babies - cromagnon nor neanderthal.
Then, Ungi explained to me with the utmost graciousness what shaman/medicine woman had to do with their lives.
"Medicine woman heal. Use plants. Use splints. Use first aid kit. No. I kidding. But do use plant and splint. Shaman lead ceremonies. I medicine woman. You partial medicine woman, but mostly shaman. Shaman sing. Shaman yell. Shaman cover body in ochre. Shaman lead ceremonies. Shaman no have mate."
She basically lost me right there. I think neanderthals don't have amorous feelings for each other, but I NEED A MATE, MAN!
I've got to find a way outta here! I'M GOING MAAAD!
Life with the neanderthals is okay... Being a shaman really has some downsides - especially when you're being one for another species! But other than that... Something feels empty, like it's missing...
I miss my mate.
There. I said it. I miss that pompous idiot who thinks he can make a decent awl out of antler. What a fool I must be!!! I even miss Hilga... I miss my mother, my father and my stupid siblings. I miss my clan. I miss my cave. I miss the lean-tos. I miss the caches full of meat. I miss the pictures of horses on the wall. I miss the pictures of ibex on the wall. I miss the pictures of aurochs on the wall. I miss the pictures of -- well, I think you get the point.
Geoffrey tried to eat some neanderthal baby today while his mother chewed on a hide. She didn't care, because I'm the shaman and he's my shaman bear, but I saved the whining little thing. I never really liked babies - cromagnon nor neanderthal.
Then, Ungi explained to me with the utmost graciousness what shaman/medicine woman had to do with their lives.
"Medicine woman heal. Use plants. Use splints. Use first aid kit. No. I kidding. But do use plant and splint. Shaman lead ceremonies. I medicine woman. You partial medicine woman, but mostly shaman. Shaman sing. Shaman yell. Shaman cover body in ochre. Shaman lead ceremonies. Shaman no have mate."
She basically lost me right there. I think neanderthals don't have amorous feelings for each other, but I NEED A MATE, MAN!
I've got to find a way outta here! I'M GOING MAAAD!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I am a shaman!
March 25, 30,000 BC
Today Geoffrey and I arrived at the aforementioned neanderthal cave, and boy, do I have a story to tell!!!
So Geoffrey and I wandered through forests, sands, steppe, etc to get here. I mostly just went west of the steppe I had been hunting on in my first entry, but I didn't find it before I had a wild encounter with a mammoth! Oh, great.
"You want some food?" I said irritably. "Here, take this squirrel meat. Oh, come on - just---- ohh... holy..."
I then realized that before us stood a big mighty mammoth matriarch.
Today Geoffrey and I arrived at the aforementioned neanderthal cave, and boy, do I have a story to tell!!!
So Geoffrey and I wandered through forests, sands, steppe, etc to get here. I mostly just went west of the steppe I had been hunting on in my first entry, but I didn't find it before I had a wild encounter with a mammoth! Oh, great.
So, I had nearly made it through the sagebrush, when Geoffrey started acting up.
"Quit being a drama queen, Geoffrey," I said, but he just made more bear noises. 
"You want some food?" I said irritably. "Here, take this squirrel meat. Oh, come on - just---- ohh... holy..."
I then realized that before us stood a big mighty mammoth matriarch.
"Hey there, lady," I said, offering her some grass. I gestured for Geoffrey to get moving while I distracted the mammoth. Geoffrey got the message, and lumbered to the west as I jumped around like an idiot, making shamanesque hooping noises. I threw the grass at the mammoth's trunk, and she caught it with incredible eye-trunk coordination.
"My lady, you look very fine today, but I'm afraid I must... DEPART!!!" I went running as fast as my akward legs could carry me across the steppe... until I reached a hill where my dear Geoffrey was waiting for me.
"Oh, Geoffrey!" I cried, embracing the cub. "Now, where's that caa...."
"You, girl," called some neanderthal woman, descending a hill. Her long, windblown matted hair framed her face like some sort of spirit. "I am Ungi. You shaman. You help. You make medicine woman. Noises you make - good noises."
I'm not certain, but I think she was referring to that horrible hooping and hollering I was making when I was distracting the mammoth.
"Cave Bear. Why you have bear?" She continued.
"I have bear because... He.. uh... follow me in forest." I answered, hoping Geoffrey wouldn't try to rip her flesh off.
"I take you to cave. We give bear food. We make you shaman. We make bear shaman. You eat."
So the neanderthal woman took me to her cave, which was a pretty good distance away. But it was worth it, because there I saw the same neanderthal guys who had saved me from the cave lion. My quest was over!
"Uh... I better keep Geoffrey outside..." I said, taking some sinew out of my horseskin bag.
"No. Bear shaman. Bear go in cave. You have shaman innitiation."
The shaman innitiation was... interesting.. They put a hood on my head with antlers, made me take my clothes off and covered me in ochre. Then, that night we had mammoth meat and Geoffrey and I got first pick. Ya know... I could get used to this!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
I, Naylah go to the Cave of the Obscure Neanderthal Guy
March 13, 30,000 BC
So, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I really wanted to go to the neanderthal cave because I had gone crazy. I hate my life. Did I already mention that?
I said goodbye to the shaman, and before he could give me his shpeel about how the spirits would hate me for doing so, I left with the buisness card, and more supplies than was reverant.
I trekked across forest, steppe and meadow. There was a rainbow in the sky. (I hate it when things make you want to be happy.) Then, when it got dark the first day I set up a wigwam in the woods to retire for the evening. I even started a fire with the handrill.
"Lets see..." I muttered, "Large Cave close to coniferous forest? Well, they came from the west of the steppe... Uuuhh! I'm just going to go to bed -"
At that moment, one of the greatest things that has ever happened in my life then occured. Some lonely cave bear cub came lumbering toward me - good thing it wasn't an adult. *shudders.* I wondered where it's mama was? My stupid to-be mate probably killed it.
I, being the stupid idiot I am just gave it a bunch of horse meat, and miraculously it didn't eat my arm till the bone was showing, although it did try to nip at my fingers. Maybe I am shaman material! Maybe I have special power over animals!
"Okay, baby bear go away now," I said in my stupid coaxing voice, but it didn't want to. So now I'm stuck with this bear, I thought. Well, I guess I'll just have to be a shaman and deal with my Speshul Power. I named him Geoffrey, and from that point on, he was to become my traveling companion.
So, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I really wanted to go to the neanderthal cave because I had gone crazy. I hate my life. Did I already mention that?
I said goodbye to the shaman, and before he could give me his shpeel about how the spirits would hate me for doing so, I left with the buisness card, and more supplies than was reverant.
I trekked across forest, steppe and meadow. There was a rainbow in the sky. (I hate it when things make you want to be happy.) Then, when it got dark the first day I set up a wigwam in the woods to retire for the evening. I even started a fire with the handrill.
"Lets see..." I muttered, "Large Cave close to coniferous forest? Well, they came from the west of the steppe... Uuuhh! I'm just going to go to bed -"
At that moment, one of the greatest things that has ever happened in my life then occured. Some lonely cave bear cub came lumbering toward me - good thing it wasn't an adult. *shudders.* I wondered where it's mama was? My stupid to-be mate probably killed it.
I, being the stupid idiot I am just gave it a bunch of horse meat, and miraculously it didn't eat my arm till the bone was showing, although it did try to nip at my fingers. Maybe I am shaman material! Maybe I have special power over animals!
"Okay, baby bear go away now," I said in my stupid coaxing voice, but it didn't want to. So now I'm stuck with this bear, I thought. Well, I guess I'll just have to be a shaman and deal with my Speshul Power. I named him Geoffrey, and from that point on, he was to become my traveling companion.
My stupid Cavemates
March 11, 30,000 BC
Ya, so anyway I was hanging out with Hilga, who is some girl in my clan. She says she's my friend, but I hate her, like most everyone else.
"Heeey, hey hey Naylah! Look at my necklace! Look at this hide! I tanned it myself! Look look lookety looky! I made a loincloth type thingy! They're all the rage now, you know. But I can't really wear it cause its cold when its not summer, you know blablablabla..........
Then my stupid to-be mate started bragging about how great he is at hunting and about how great he is at everything.
"Yeah, so I knapped this flint clovis point the other day and all these girls from another tribe wanted to be my mate, and I said, 'sorry, but I've already a mate.' I said it with reluctance, because some of them, or actually probably most of em were prettier than you."
I was relieved when he and the fellows went hunting. I painted new pictures on the wall with some really beautiful red ochre I found on The Mammoth Plateau. But then some of it spilled out of the bowl and stained my best hide.
"OOOHHHH..." Said Hilga. "That'll take a while to get out."
Well, at least I still have that buisness card. All is not lost, Neelah - all is not lost.
Ya, so anyway I was hanging out with Hilga, who is some girl in my clan. She says she's my friend, but I hate her, like most everyone else.
"Heeey, hey hey Naylah! Look at my necklace! Look at this hide! I tanned it myself! Look look lookety looky! I made a loincloth type thingy! They're all the rage now, you know. But I can't really wear it cause its cold when its not summer, you know blablablabla..........
Then my stupid to-be mate started bragging about how great he is at hunting and about how great he is at everything.
"Yeah, so I knapped this flint clovis point the other day and all these girls from another tribe wanted to be my mate, and I said, 'sorry, but I've already a mate.' I said it with reluctance, because some of them, or actually probably most of em were prettier than you."
I was relieved when he and the fellows went hunting. I painted new pictures on the wall with some really beautiful red ochre I found on The Mammoth Plateau. But then some of it spilled out of the bowl and stained my best hide.
"OOOHHHH..." Said Hilga. "That'll take a while to get out."
Well, at least I still have that buisness card. All is not lost, Neelah - all is not lost.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I, The real Smart Cro Magnon Girl (Naylah) Go hunting on the steppe
March 9, 30,000 BC
So anyway, today I was hunting on the steppe with my handy dandy spear, when out of nowhere, this cave lion just came sauntering toward me. I really didn't wanna die this way, cause when I died, by the time my clan found me I would be all decomposing and no one would want to touch my body and put mammoth ivory jewelery on it and bury it. But anyway, that cave lion was just about to kill me, when conveniently some random neanderthal (those are pretty scarce) came around with a few of his friends. He was really handsome. Like some Byronic hero from 29,000 years into the future. A heck of a lot handsomer than that guy my parents wanted me to mate with. And those neanderthal fellows killed the thing with their flint-tipped spears!! Oh, I'm all fluttery now.
Then the handsome one handed me his business card . Wow, they're pretty advanced. It said something like:
So anyway, today I was hunting on the steppe with my handy dandy spear, when out of nowhere, this cave lion just came sauntering toward me. I really didn't wanna die this way, cause when I died, by the time my clan found me I would be all decomposing and no one would want to touch my body and put mammoth ivory jewelery on it and bury it. But anyway, that cave lion was just about to kill me, when conveniently some random neanderthal (those are pretty scarce) came around with a few of his friends. He was really handsome. Like some Byronic hero from 29,000 years into the future. A heck of a lot handsomer than that guy my parents wanted me to mate with. And those neanderthal fellows killed the thing with their flint-tipped spears!! Oh, I'm all fluttery now.
Then the handsome one handed me his business card . Wow, they're pretty advanced. It said something like:
Large Cave Close to northern coniferous forest.
Then, I returned to my stupid cave with my cro-magnon "friends." *shudder* I hate my life.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING!?
Hey There!
So anyway, right now I'm taking a fashion illustration class. God, I am egotistical, but I am so freaking good at it.
Well anyway, I'm coming into the realization that I actually am sort of emo! Wow. What a confession - but it can't be true... or can it? Now I'm going to have to make my hair more emo-ey! And stick a bunch of pointy unnatural things into my ear cartilage and nose and whatnot.
HOW CAN THIS BE???
Pop culture has gotten the best of me, I'm afraid.
So anyway, right now I'm taking a fashion illustration class. God, I am egotistical, but I am so freaking good at it.
Well anyway, I'm coming into the realization that I actually am sort of emo! Wow. What a confession - but it can't be true... or can it? Now I'm going to have to make my hair more emo-ey! And stick a bunch of pointy unnatural things into my ear cartilage and nose and whatnot.
HOW CAN THIS BE???
Pop culture has gotten the best of me, I'm afraid.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
For the lulz
Greetings!
You know, there is a time in every man's life when he begins to wonder,
What do High Priestesses do when they want some lulz every now and then?
Whatever you're thinking...
YOU'RE WRONG!
The correct answer was actually that they do whatever this socially unacceptable young lady is doing in the following pictures...
You know, there is a time in every man's life when he begins to wonder,
What do High Priestesses do when they want some lulz every now and then?
Whatever you're thinking...
YOU'RE WRONG!
The correct answer was actually that they do whatever this socially unacceptable young lady is doing in the following pictures...
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